Writing

and then i saw it
saw it all all the mess
and blood and everythink
and mam agenst the kitchin dor
the flor all stiky
and the wall all wet
and red an dad besid the kicken draw
i saw it saw it all
an wrot it down an ever word of it is tru

You much take care to write in sentences,
Check your spellings and your paragraphs.
Is this finished? It is rather short.
Perhaps next time you will have more to say.

This is the poem that Jacey and I have decided to teach to the class. It is very interesting. I feel it is in two parts telling two different stories. The first part is of a young child telling his story of death. He talks about the blood and the mess. He doesn't say how he feels about this but he does say that he saw it he saw it all. (I am assuming that he is a boy) I feel that they way this first part is wrote really helps establish that this child is young. All the spelling errors and gramatical errors help show that this child is eager to tell his story as he sees it. He writes the words as they sound. For example he spells beside with out the e at the end and that is how the word is said. He hasnt yet learned about silent e and other silent endings. The second part of this poem is very different. I think it is by the teacher. The teacher has looked at the poem and seen all the errors instead of the story that is being told. I get the impression that this teacher feels that her student could have done better, but if this teacher would have ignored all the mistakes then she would see the story and the voice and impact this has had on her student.